Spontaneous Combustion

Duderocketship

Hella business
Got hella bitches
Poppin double bottles
With a couple of mistresses
Stellar mistreatment
Here's the key
Lock em in the cellar
Forever their memory lies
But a troubling mystery

Hysteria erupting
Like waves gushing
From the tip of my penis
My genius is better
I'm the King here's my scepter
Now watch the teeth
You worthless Queen
Or I'll stifle them screams

I fuck bitches on trampolines
Motion sickness?
Overdose on Dramamine

Slave to the magnitude
Of my impressive muff munching
Exploring deplorable nether-regions galore;
Can't touch me you got nothing
Broke motherfucker
Grind your brain like morning coffee beans

Shame is a word just outside the boundaries
of my fabulous vocabulary

Oh, am I contrite?
How trifling
Check my charm I'm enlightening
Enigmatic and igniting sporadically like lightning
Magically radical voyaging down
                                                           down
                                                  down the rabbit's hole
Inciting excited riots to light fires spark fuses and chew on live wires
You do not frighten me.
Delivering excruciating asphyxiation to every pwn'd n00b
Is my modus operandi
And this is my magnum opus

I have Tourette's

Conceive these merriments of abhorrent mental abortions
Precisely concise and incisive concocting incoherent comatose monstrosities to flatten your lifelines
Conduct these ensembles of debauchery and narcotics -
I'm fascinating;
Crippling your mind like a lobotomy

and tripping the light fantastic through bombarding planes of consciousness

I'm on acid thraxXx'd the fuck OUT and faded
Levitating fading and oscillating in time while inflating my ego

But lets be realistic
the caliber of my linguistics is intrinsically aesthetic
but none too altruistic
Untrue!
Be reasonable lest I demand be-headings on grounds of treason
Its not hard for me -
It's profound, the sound of suffering;
I'll swallow your soul
'Tis the season!

Inference for instance -
Pimp-hand upturned to oceans of incessant peasants
Pestering to molest and fluster your festering butt-hole
Exact my revenge; begin phase mayhem
initiating total brain annihilation
interring bodies posthaste with skilled persistence
And sporting in poor taste
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

You who peers through eye of the pyramid-
Would you be so kind as to interpret my footprint at face-value?
Do you take me for a fool yet seek prophets reaping profits?
Listen to them sleep, baaah-ing away like flocks of little sheep
My hearts not on my sleeve but I have a trick or two up there;

Now bow before my marvelous flow
As I behold my throne whilst throwing bows and exposing hoes.

  • Author: Reid Donovan (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 10th, 2019 12:11
  • Comment from author about the poem: November 2013. 3.4k views on hellopoetry as of 2019. My first foray into this bizarre obscene style that I am mainly known for now. It seems that writing the most ridiculous stuff I can think of has gotten more reactions from people than my serious work. https://hellopoetry.com/poem/509205/spontaneous-combustion/
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 23
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