Letting Go

CJKay

Suffer in silence

Sleep through the violence

Trying to find a way out…

 

No, I'm not perfect 

But I swear that I'm worth it.

I'm missing peace right now..

 

Can't say I never loved you

After all that we have been through

We got to this point, how?

 

Now I'm sitting all alone

No one tried to hit my phone..

 

I guess that's just how it goes.

 

That's why I can't fall in love

Because everybody switches up

 

I can't mess with all you foes.

 

I can't even keep my friends around,

Another bridge burned to the ground.

 

This shit just keeps on adding up,

I've finally had more than enough.

 

That's why I stay to my damn self,

Because y'all are to selfish for my help.

 

Tender hearts turn corrupt,

Tears turn to ashes..

No one wants to see me cry,

As the time keeps slowly passing..

 

No one cares about my downfalls,

My fears or my dreams..

They only care about my weakness,

Spitting on my  self esteem.

 

I've always been a shoulder,

A confidant to those in need.

Yet my soul is so misunderstood,

I have no place to lean. 

Everyone disappears,

While I'm drowning in the deep.

 

I have major trust issues..

My pureness is tarnished.

I can't be myself,

Without being honest.

 

Used and thrown away,

Like the garbage of yesterday.

When all I've ever wanted,

Was for someone to look my way. 

 

Tell me it's gonna be okay,

Without it being a lie.

Without the anxiety,

Of being left wondering why.

 

Living on hope though,

It's so hard to stay positive.

Laying down in my bed,

My emotions are unbottling.

 

Comfortably numb..

Another shadow on the sun..

 

It's like I'm a magnet,

To all the chaos and commotion.

To the minimally devoted.

I forgive but can't forget,

No words go unnoted. 

 

I have to keep the tv on,

So the voices don't take control.

Replaying every encounter,

Solace, I hardly know.

 

So use to the let downs,

Drama and arguments.

Preying on my kindness,

Like I'm some kind of target.

 

It doesn't matter how bad I'm hurt,

Because the only time they truly care..

Is when my face is on a shirt.

Watching me get lowered,

Six feet down in the dirt..

 

But I keep fighting everyday,

To focus on myself.

Keep the good vibes rolling,

Working on my mental health.

 

I've been through to much,

To let my ship sink.

It's my time rise above

Try not to overthink.

 

It's easy to get lost,

In what I already know.

Keep smiling through the pain,

& Let the past go.

 

Don't hold on to heartache,

Keep your mind right.

Don't let anyone,

Diminish your fight.

 

Because even a thunderstorm,

Comes to an end.

& Life will keep going,

So a new chapter can begin.











  • Author: CJKay (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 14th, 2019 04:14
  • Comment from author about the poem: A little of experience. Speaking from the heart. And letting my mind create the words.
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 12
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Comments1

  • ANGELA & BRIAN

    GOOD MORNING *CJK* Welcome to MPS and thanks for your firts POEM. Im BRIAN (UK ~ 35) and I share this site with ANGELA (31) my Fiancee who is presently on Work Exchange in New Zealand (11,500 miles from LONDON !). We can both relate to the ANGST in your Elegant but Sad Poem because we have been let down in LOVE several times and had to move on. We are now very happy in our relationship : You do find the right one in time ! We plan to get married @ Easter 2020 !

    Every blessing ~ thinking of YOU
    Yours BRIAN & ANGELA ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก

    • CJKay

      You're so sweet, thank you so much!โฃ๏ธโœจ
      I'm happy for y'all, that's so cute. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Wish y'all two nothing but the best! ๐Ÿ’ฏ



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