Taboo

Taboo

I masturbate 

Yes I said it

And that isn’t a reason for taboo, an excuse for men to claim I have “experience”, or for women to see me as less feminine and more of... something else 

I masturbate because it feels good, it feels so fucking good and I enjoy. Mainly because I don’t have to worry about any patriarchy feeling my makeup isn’t perfect or my pyjamas don’t turn them on. 

It’s just me and my desires.

But desires aren’t an excuse for violence, like in 1960 when rape was seen as a man indulging his masculine ‘desires’ of domination, just like desire isn’t an excuse for women to take advantage of men and rape them. Yes Women can and do rape men.

I masturbate because it’s a way to explore and understand my body, breaking free of having to take what “other people say for it”. It’s liberating. 

And it feels good.

Did you know there are over 8,000 pleasure nerves in a clit and only 4,000 in the  penis. No neither did I, because no one told me. They believe that as a woman I will find myself just like everyone else. But how does everyone else do it. Will it be through friends taking about having drunk sex at a Halloween party or from having an uncomfortable and nervous experience with a boy who claims all his past bitches like it that way.

No

I masturbate because it know what I like, and it’s liberating.

And I like it

I started at the age of 14, accidental at first but you know what they say. Practice makes perfect.

Yet I can’t help but think that if a “fella” said that about banging chicks in a pub he’d be fist pumped or clapped on the back in agreement. But I say that to my friends and it’s seen as ugly and “not very lady like”, a lot like anal.

I don’t like anal, never done it never will.

But why is that, I’ve never tried it much like I’ve never tried grapefruit so why is that. Why are so many women and heterosexual men repulsed by this idea. Is it because we fear the pain...yet self harm is practiced by people globally. No. Or is it because we don’t want to seem sexually weak like a “girl”. I once heard a man say he’d do anal but never take it up the arse. Is that so he doesn’t feel weak beneath another, or is it the animalistic lust of domination so many men feel which drives them to  cause pain without pleasure, to hit their wives and daughters in anger and call those who they can’t dominate with such ease “fags” and “rug-munchers”. 

These things I’ve all been called. Perhaps we’ll never know.

I’m not a scientist, a sociologist or a genius.

I’m just saying that I masturbate because it allows me to break free from the bonds of a patriarchal society. 

And it feels good.