i know

i know how this goes
well-versed in the concepts of
unrequited
un-reciprocated
and unavailable

this is a dance
i know all the steps to
leaning towards you
across a well-loved table
like ocean waves
against the shore

two fires rage
in all the blood in my body
rushing to my face 
and the alcohol in my
otherwise empty belly
wrapping myself in a cloak
of courage

and i know how this goes
you know of my attraction
you are flattered by this
you cannot reciprocate this

and this stopped being fun
a little bit ago
spending my nights with tears
in my eyes
wondering why i am always the
one to fall

i guess we are all
shackled to things
in one way or another
ya know?

i am shackled 
to my own heart
and firmly tied to hope

so close that it
has me in a choke-hold
that i am no longer fighting against

and i know what you are
shackled to, my dear
this deep and aching sadness
that is only made for you
to carry

and i will carry this
torch for you
for now 

at least
until my heart decides
to listen to my head again
and i fall back on all
those “un’s”
like i always seem 
to do