July 25th, 1996 tied the Gordian knot,...

(I spent noose cents)

begot deux daughters, the major events

both since flew cuckoo's nest,

the eldest angry at papa for offense

sieve behavior fatherly bond

forever sundered permanent rents

unforgiving progeny vents

bile, explosive vitriol whence...

Aye yen for bachelorhood every

now and again doth mildly abate

after saying "I do...,"

when axed by justice of peace

nearly two dozen years wedded

bull hissing, rest assured

I will abbreviate

encapsulate, fulminate, narrate...

and forthrightly admit,

yours truly oft times

yearned to abdicate

spousal unbridled warfare and injustice

reason enough to abnegate

null and void husbandry role

ex post facto finding thyself

questioning pledging troth even

Frosty the snowman would abominate

to say "screw this -

marriage nut for me"

bolt in a huff boot (dang)

ne'er did absquatulate

altercations that adhere

to rule of physics

and tended to accelerate

as muzzled, neigh saying saddled

former groom did

lament and accentuate

his physical needs,

she did not accommodate,

cuz this solitary soul

(with good n plenti horse sense),

never did fully acculturate

with female species,

one whose blunt cold front

seemed to accumulate growing

gripe list bestowed courtesy this mate

tit for tat wrathful pitiless,

(not so cherry) feedback unmatched

within annotated coupled courtship of fools,

this scrivener with steely

iron maiden breastplate,

nonetheless did rack up and accumulate

battle scars hitting bullseye,

since donned with

corrective vision spectacles

hen pecking, needling termagant

untameable shrew did acerate

(worse fate than death -

validated by grim reaper)

avowed covenant thru torturous years

exponentially punishing innocent soul

(slightly biased) did acervate

popping one after

another over the counter acetylsalicylate,

no ampule adequate

to relieve permanent suffering,

thus lifetime electric shock treatment,

nsync quaffing prescription

kool aid battery acidulate

ineffective to activate

palliative, and restore

liberty (yeah) sense and sensibility

subsequently providing freedom

against further wifely scourges

whereby Doctor Phil Ander

refused to adjudicate,

perhaps understandable why I advocate

selfless mercy killing (euthanasia)

for this urbane country bumpkin.