Butterfly Strings

baddaytobealive

Your words have always been so strong and effective.

You said things that made those 2,371 miles feel like 1 millimeter.

And when you said those things I felt like I wasn’t just talking to you, but I was touching you.

I could almost swear sometimes that I could feel your fingertips on my skin.

That I could hear your heartbeat.

That I could see your eyes and smell your hair and taste your lips.

I felt you.

Somehow through all the distance, you found your way to my heart like you never had to look at a map once.

You made it there so quickly and never left since then.

But I on the other hand, only got to touch your heart for a split second.

Unfortunately, my visit there was cut short.

I never got to help you the way you helped me.

I never got to touch you the way you touched me.

I never truly got a hold of the strings that could make the butterflies in your stomach dance.

I guess my hands just... slipped.

I’m so broken.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much it hurts.

You’re my whole world.

What am I supposed to do when my whole world is gone?

I’m slowly but surely slipping away.

  • Author: Little Dreamer (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 6th, 2019 05:14
  • Comment from author about the poem: I’m really hurting. I don’t know what else to say.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 15
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Comments2

  • dusk arising

    Why do we fall so fast, so deeply online?
    Because it's not like dating. There is no busy bar or cafe with distractions. No noisey night club music to shout at each other over.
    It's one to one... from day one.. intimate... you open the petals of your flower.... your share fallibility... you are humbled by understanding... and suddenly WHAM fuck off..... but.... but.... it's all too true.
    It happened to me, it happened to you.
    There will be better days.

    • baddaytobealive

      You’re right, but it didn’t end like that. It was for good, valid reasons and they did it so gently. I couldn’t be mad even if I tried. They were so good to me. They still are. I just wish it didn’t hurt so badly. Thank you 💖

      • dusk arising

        If you still have contact with the cause of your pain i strongly advise you to cut that contact... why? Because that will put and end to this chapter and you can begin to recover. If you don't break contact then your pain will continue on and on.
        In days to come you will learn that having the wisdom and guts to make the break will become self assuredness, self esteem and recognition that you took control enabling you to turn a page into the next chapter of life.
        Happiness is out there for you.

      • 1 more comment

      • Christina8

        I sincerely agree with dusk arising. I'm looking at your pain but I don't know what to say to make it better or I also don't want to say something to make it worse. You know? I would say it's all your generation, but people of all ages fall in love online. But I think the thing is to build up your self esteem and go OUT and meet someone new. It will happen. Just believe it will. I know you are not ready yet. But give it time.----Christina

        • baddaytobealive

          Thank you so much for being considerate and trying to help. I don't know if I can ever feel this way about anyone again. Not only because I feel like they're irreplaceable and I'll always love them, but also because I'm so scared of taking the risk to go through all this pain again. I'm barely surviving it now, I know I couldn't go through it a second time. Also, I'm running particularly low on self esteem these days, so I'm just stuck. Again, thank you for trying to help. I'm thinking the only thing I can do is just... survive, I guess.



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