Shame and guilt sabotaged mine healthy growth

Internalized emotions wrought

quotidian psychological oppression

retrospective reflection courtesy

20/20 hindsight reveals absolute zero

positive development of body, mind, and spirit

extreme agitation compromised

maturation, education, and socialization

every year since being

born free and clear of obvious defects

minus alien aberration, Russian collusion...,

nor deplorable crooked Hillary accusation

and submucous cleft palate

inducing severe nasality

fraught with arduous speaking difficulty

coping, fraternizing, integrating

within ordinary circumstances

alienated, defied, horrified,

mortified, scared, zapped

yours truly, albeit analogous

experiencing ferocious, hellacious, torturous...

suffering predicated on suppressing

and/or repressing moderate slights

inflicted upon withdrawn younger self,

who lacked adroit, deft, heft...

coping with typical situations

subsequently aggravating,

exacerbating, jinxing...

to cultivate, generate,

liberate locked potential

hypothesized, premised, yoked

infantile grievous inconsolable crying

unsolved behavioral mystery

venting only for my "mommy dearest"

would utter (this from hearsay)

exhibiting extreme aversion

if other than thee birth mother

comforted, cradled, cocooned...,

an extremely reticent individual

buckling as strapping bullies

relentlessly belted jibed, taunted...

said teasing begat intimidation

(oft times mentioned other poems)

scrawny kid (me) cowed, fawned, irked,

nonetheless I remained passive against

blistering, hectoring, teasing,

which apothegm turning other cheek

avoided getting smashed pumpkin face

courtesy subservient stance

devotional acquiescence help me dog pose

prayer temporarily answered

harboring entire being

ten thousand feet beneath

avast sea of dejection

time and again repeated

alas crass harassment

absorbed into nucleus of every cell

anchored barnacle encrusted tenuous pride

in short shrift

brewing, abjection, dejection, humiliation...

"NOT FAKE" misery

inducing suicidal ideation

spurring serious delineation

allowing, enabling, proffering

permanent salvation uber vacation

among livingsocial years later overlaid

earthshaking fault finding

misbehavior gifted from

those I called mother and father.