love lost

I stare at your sleeping face as
My heart beats fast,
Trying to keep up with yours.
Our bodies lay only a few inches from each other
But a few inches feels like miles when love is threatening to crumble all around us
The thoughts I’ve tried to suppress are
No longer complying
They are front and center
Forcing me to notice, to think
what do you do when the one who you breathe for no longer loves you..
Wait no, let me correct myself,
He loves me
he cares for me
But what do you do when the one you gave your entire heart to, is no longer in love with you?
When he no longer looks at you in that beautiful way that makes butterflies dance in your stomach.
When he no longer holds you tight
When he doesn’t kiss you as tenderly or with as much emotion as before.
Suddenly the space between us feels like valleys and the tears fall hot down my face
The worst part is, he doesn’t even know it.
He doesn’t know that he is falling out of love with me
And that I am holding on to as much of us as I can.
Because I know my days are numbered.
One day he will wake up and realize that he no longer wants to be mine.
That I am too much for one person too handle.
He will realize that he no longer has to carry the burden of my fragile heart
And it will be a weight off of his shoulders.
And I can’t blame him.
But the day he finally gets to live is the day that I will die.