Tingling scalp

Cold shower today - (early afternoon)

September eighth two thousand

and nineteen more challenging than June

dog days of summer test tolerance

to feel alive and bark at the moon

hypothetically imagining myself

alone in the (suburban) wilderness

fabricating, envisioning crossing pontoon

bridge while humming nonsense tune.

Jolt to body electric induces zing

unlike missus who cannot wing

subjecting her sensitive skin

versus modest bragging

rights of this faux king

please pas din me boasting,

but perhaps explanation

I shower without hot water

linkedin to aging.

Which (no matter cumulative

chronological orbitz around sun

just a number), the fleeting

passage of years doth stun

more so forces me to assess

mein kampf, retrospective

devoid of nothing merit but pun

hushing disappointment plus

self deprivation of fun.

Alas within narrowly

circumscribed realm stale

stagnation doth prevail,

I easily overwhelm

courtesy panic attacks of this male

bred avoidance behavior

(cue Pavlov's dog) hearty and hale

trained to withdraw

from challenging tasks

markedly pronounced when fail

my middle name,

where besieged psyche doth ail.

Fatherhood, albeit necessitated taking ace

sip of courage, sometimes

adept to chase

fear of unfamiliar, though

never totally erase

sing passive behavior

I attest infrequently to face

anxiety inducing situations

poise zenned clowns

feign amazing grace

me convulsing with intimidation

agitating, flinching, recoiling...

retreating into isolated place

while profuse sweat drips

from every porous space

heart beat does madly race

despite absence of any threat

exhaustion spent without

factual, logical, rational... trace.

Time and again work fraught

self into lather for naught

recurring soap opera taught

me impossible mission

to rinse figurative suds

unlike showering/washing hair,

whereby cleansing wrought.