Just Fucking Friends

Why was it so easy for you to break my heart? You left me on my own at night after picking me apart. All the times you said “I love you” have all been in vain, and now I’m sat here forever remembering your name. Those three letters I will take to the grave, but I bet you don’t even remember my fucking name. You played with my heart whilst it was still fresh and young, but now I’ve finally found out where I really belong. Not with you or anywhere near, but rather on my own with a knife to my ear. Reminiscing on my own dreaded fate and remembering all the awful feelings of hate. Now I can live a life so clear, a life without rejection and fear. We were two young teenagers who thought we were right but now only one of us is paying the painful price. Not of money or anything of gain but rather that of darkness and selfish burning pain. It was time to say good bye and part our separate ways, hoping that you’d be gone for the rest of my breathing days. Or was that just a lie, covered in deceit? Hoping that one day we will again finally meet. I don’t know and neither do you but I guess one day we will find out like old dumb lovers do. Your name was a sound that made my heart beat, but now it’s a name that I don’t want to keep. Not in my mind or anywhere else, but every time I close my eyes I hear those fucking yells. The ones when I was angry shouting down the phone and the same ones that have made me sit here all alone. I never meant to get so crazy but I couldn’t control my mind, because every ounce of love I had for you was ever more blind. Never thinking of what’s next only of what is, and if you were the woman to carry my future kids. But as with every hateful story there comes a grievous end, I only had to realise that we were just fucking friends.