Awayness.
Time-racked love sickens yet clings to need's favour.
Truck rumbled awayness by distancing rails.
Hope blurs in acceptance thru smoke-blinded eyes.
Will healing wing free from his hurtful goodbyes ?
Long-held faith reflects back to hurt's parting words.
Heart wavered at train wheels speeding him further.
Come nightfall I ask why, with no-one around
Waiting's old echo still whistles lone track sounds.
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Author:
Fay Slimm. (
Offline) - Published: October 8th, 2019 06:19
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 33
- Users favorite of this poem: dusk arising
Offline)
Comments4
How melancholy can be those final train departures. The innocent yearning, harshly learning stood against the wall in your picture so evocative of her dilemma and pain.
And future holds a jolt of fear and yet hope with each distant train's whistle.
Beautifully emotional poetry Fay. Concise but truly conveys young love's entry into the big real world timelessly.
For the sheer mastery of this genre this piece deserves to be in everyone's favourites.
You are so kind with your comments on Awayness dear dusk and grateful thank yous for adding the piece to your favourites.
A fine write Fay. I was on about a hymn: 'When a knight won his spurs'. This fits to it perfectly, so I shall sing it! Arrgghhhh, they all say. lol. It's in 12.12.12.12. metre, though the hymn is slightly irregular metre I think.
I am pleased you enjoyed the read Orchi.
Thanks Fay.
A picture is worth a thousand words, they say. Your poem conjures up that feeling of loneliness and regret in only a few words. Well done!
Yes it was one of my "lonely heart" pieces and am pleased you think Awayness conjures that feeling dear Fred.
The echos we wait upon ...yet our hearts know the answer..wonderful words of depth and emotion...🌹
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