Sound of running water prompts urge to urinate

(alternately titled:
Pee pee song and dance routine)


Invariably analogous setting

kickstarts schlemiel to agitate

excretory mechanism linkedin,

viz body electric doth actuate

merely upon turning faucet triggers

unstoppable onset to micturate

drinking coffee or caffeinated tea

also functions as diuretic

mimics similar rush'n spate

oh boy... if I hesitate

to whip out trouser snake late...

he himself will humiliate

courtesy warm liquid will trickle

soiling pea green pants

legs knotted together damns fate

against pistol - unleash

expletives post maturely ejaculate

rank odor will permeate

redeeming salvation drek

written by this primate,

which rather lame poem may titillate,

though juvenile words

when thee evaluate

be mindful, cuz no control exists,

hence humorously accentuate

to tap kidney, draining

the lizard, empty bladder all equate

essentially to see man about a horse

private tête-à-tête,

thus no choice exists to alleviate

non voluntary impulse,

no rhyme nor reason unbeknownst to me

why tinkling sound beckons ureic freight

urgent whistle stop won't depreciate

emergency crisis compounded

with sudden necessity to defecate

courtesy lathered soap

or shaving cream, I fulminate

teary eyed burning man sensation

tripping feet blindly groping

oh $*¡† toilet seat down - cant wait

scramble in vain against impending date,

when disaster strikes

flash flood warning issued,

hence I cannot narrate

anymore hanging unto bough

risking life and limb

half a$$ poem I did create.