Weird "fake" news

This pencil necked geek

did hair thru the long grapevine

actually following false tidbit

originated within imagination i.e. mine,

while stationed at Macbook Pro

laptop - time already inching close

to hour of rise and shine

yikes still no bloody poem,

though with futility, I keep try'n

past bewitching hour, where body,

now incumbent to get supine

hours after taking warm shower

feeling gloriously, exceptionally,

comfortably, admirably... relaxed,

when captain my captain asinine

idea arose with futility to opine

albeit, ludicrous, outrageous, ridiculous...

carafe out loud if you dare

boot... be ready to make beeline

hive got muppet Hen son powers divine,

no matter yours truly drones design,

nonetheless me thought wine

not share blurb nsync with tickle me Elmo,

who awaits at intersection,

where Sesame Street crosses Pine

unless scariest beastly monster appears

sending shivers, viz small cilia along spine,

though profound this ain't,

only with collusion will

yours truly resign.

 

In toto now attempt made

to explain primary peculiar poetic bent

composed by vested apoplectic gent,

no matter mental energy he spent

dashing off above irrelevant "ine"

cuz he reached wits end to explain cogent

initial following crux not tangent

to preceding bloody effort in vain spent

devoid of sense, sensibility, or amusement,

thus no continuity despite fervent

effort made to stitch seamlessly

all above, and what comprises rhyming content

all I ask... please be tolerant and lenient.

 

Symbiotic microbial organisms dwell

within shirt collars interstitial spaces... expel

microscopic pincers to grab well

anchored, harried, styled... hair follicles

constituting tough protein called keratin

poised to strike back, minus stray, tell

tale loose strands easily retract

within scalp pulled tortoise shell,

subsequently scurry pell mell

even those thickly coated with Brylcreem gel

yea, those slippery hard to grab yell

low orange strands with

hair raising pluck subsequently fell

eventually baldly snagged, tugged, uprooted...

formerly hirsute bigwig(s) kvell

issue hair reed clangorous rebel yell

denuded pate(s) appear(ed) shiny and swell,

and resembled see thru billiard ball

clearly (self evidently)

lacking substance within hollowed shell.

Lemme resume kick starting

purported poem neigh

no more stalling, hesitating, fumfering... okay,

thus without further delay

imagine whichever prez

comes to mind standing

about six foot three, and

approximately doth weigh

two hundred and fifty pound orangutan

hood doth don orange-blond "fake" toupee

pensively jabbering, issuing, harrumphing...

(analogous to first Chinese brother

who swallowed the sea)

initially gesticulating comically, then furiously,

and finally impossibly loosed ocean at bay

no chance for treasure hunters to get away.