Most restful sleep since... being in utero

Courtesy restless leg syndrome

spouse called me expletive rat fink

ousted me out the bed with plink

as lovely bones almost got extinct,

whence consoled self singing ditty

Skidamarink a-dink a-dink

makeshift burrow of pillows nsync

shuteye analogous to grateful dead,

Elysian Fields I did drink

yours truly fast asleep
found repose within eyeblink

awoke rested minus

knotted knobs entire body kink

metaphorical twisted human pretzel,

yours truly did not shrink

though disabled to walk,

hence mobility regressed

circumscribing me ambulatory

range to crawl and slink,

no matter paralyzed

(albeit temporarily), I think

above mentioned rectifies

Quandary whereat legs

shimmy and shake

keeping the missus awake

she requires daily at least

twenty four hours

of beauty rest to slake

lest she renders me into

chopped liver and/

or skewered beefcake

nuttin I divulge "fake,"

courtesy this corny flake,

who years gone by

a scoundrel and rake

straying against marital fidelity

triggering psychological earthquake

present crisis pits less at stake,

thus forgive wordplay

much more age

appropriate than pattycake,

perhaps slight hyperbole

thee only literary gambit

up figurative sleeve,

me ain't no magician,

nor gifted with holiness

able to walk across lake

thus harmlessly,

kiddingly, purposelessly...

cavort, frolick,

before darkness, when I

unduly forced to betake

self and disappear hoping the morrow

will find most bushy tailed wideawake.