Alan .S. Jeeves

I Wish I Was the Wizard

I wish I was a tin man

Out there cutting wood;

I'd rely upon the lube can

To keep my elbows good.

All day I'd task and toil

Until it's time for tea,

And then I'd take a squirt of oil

To keep my knee joints free.


I'd dream about a girlfriend

My dreams then turn to dust;

I comprehend at daytime's end

I'm just a heap of rust.

I'd never find a maid of tin,

It's tearing me apart,

As when I search my soul, within,

I find I have no heart.


I wish I was a scarecrow

Out living in a lea.

But all the critters there, though,

Just jest and laugh at me.

I stand about with outspread arms

Scaring off the birds,

I'm seldom heard around the farms....

I'm always lost for words.


I dream about a girl of straw

Lithe enough to squeeze;

My dreams then turn to chaff, and so

They blow off in the breeze.

I'll never get a spouse of hay,

My dreams swill down the drain;

I wouldn't know just what to say

I haven't got a brain.


I wish I was a lion. brave,

Roaring mighty roars;

Seeing off my foes to save

The world from mighty wars.

I'd spend my time a-prowling,

Vaunting round with pride,

Snarling and a-growling....

But all I do is hide.


I wish I had a lioness

To hunt and ply for me;

But that will never be, I guess ~

I'm cowardly, you see!

I have no courage for to ask

A feline for a date;

I have no luck ~ I have no pluck

I'll never find a mate.


So I wish I was the wizard

To save me from the storm;

My life is such a blizzard,

But who will keep me warm?

I long to be a magic man

The future I'd foresee....

But then again a better plan,

I'd rather just be me.







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