I haint donning royal carpet treatment

Aw shucks, I did sustain

moderately serious injury

series of unfortunate events

ludicrous and quite insane,

yours truly did previously explain

while crouching (think

Tony as papier mâché Tiger),

aye fell backward, where sharp

desktop corner didst train

ground zero right side rib cage domain

punched thru L.L. Bean Autumn jacket

zapped, tattooed, lacerated... bloodstain

proof positive bow tocks sing

arrowing, fletching, notching,

piercing, searing targeting ... pain

prestidigitation went awry

courtesy "fake" legerdemain,

yours truly incapacitated plain

vanilla and simple
found me mortally slain,

more tortuous than spelunking thru
eye of needle size tunnel,
no bigger than sand grain,

and/or trumpeted by suzerain

arrogant, boastful, contemptuous...

arid, barren, cerebrally desolate brain,

a definitive liability,

(not just from Ukraine

stormy din yelled brouhaha), profane

but..., I wholeheartedly ascertain,

the commander in chief

an absolute zero inane

purpose twittering acrimonious, disdain

calamitous, egregious, gangrenous..., arcane

rumbustious, venomous,

zealous... carte blanche

bigoted, misogynistic, racist..., inhumane

blathering, excoriating, insulting...

seeding, planting, muckraking... dogbane

demanding obeisance till

henchmen verstehen

unwittingly declaring himself

jejune bloodhound August huss

preening, primping, proofing

orange-blond mane

more attentive to applying

gray matter to strain

Midas coated self

important fiery propane

verbal quid pro quo

explosions inevitably spray'n,

nothing but antisemitism, barbarism,

demagoguery, hatred...

diatribes roiling the masses

til rabid rantings attain

intolerant decibel threshold

usurping totalitarian refrain.