AN EXAM IN LOVE

We each forced ourselves.

You were only lonesome.

I was contented and wanted to be excited.

We went for a drive

To a peninsula.

We saw an amusement park,

But we went past.

The Ferris wheel and the roller coaster looked dim

As if they were covered with sand.

So we did not feel pleasant like playing there.

We got in a hotel for some reason or other

And pulled the body close to each other

With the untrue hearts.

It was a sad exam in love.

We went out of the hotel

And started again.

We could change nothing,

But only time passed a little.

All you told of was your remembrance.

You must have wished for the next love

And the same love

As you had once had.

You had ordinary sensibility.

I was not satisfied with such thing.

Though I certainly sought for love too,

I was not sure that I could develop your dream.

I frequently smoked and you said to me,

"Why do you smoke so heavily?"

I wanted, so to speak, revolution.

Both of us knew that our hearts were kept locked,

That they were separate from each other

And that the future could not be seen.

But only two were in the car.

And we continued going forward.

Toward what?

The sea darkened from the near side.

The mountains darkened from the side.

Night seemed to be coming after a while.

Since we still loved sunlight,

We got in a restaurant with a view of sunset

And ordered our dinner.

Though it filled our stomachs

And though all the views from the windows were beautiful,

Our hearts were not filled.

On our way back we went past the amusement park again.

Seeing the beautiful illumination, I said,

"Beautiful."

Somehow I knew why you did not say so before.

Then you stared into my eyes and said,

"Yes."

The expressway by night had the seductive power.

Both of us were silent.

I had turned off the car stereo.

But we were awake.

You said, "You accelerate pretty fast,"

When I thought so myself.

I guessed you were afraid.

We got to your apartment before long.

Stepping out of the car, you said,

"Thank you very much. I had an enjoyable time today."

I felt you look at my eyes briefly.

And I felt as if I had only seen your profile of a smile.