Sleeping Beauty move over, you got fierce competition

Ain't no vicious rumor,

but dead serious joke

cuz no princess

can kiss bajillion times

to get yours truly woke

ah... just one garden variety generic

Geico Frog Prince

(in actuality I

wanna be caveman bloke)

nothing will disrupt me,

not even minor noose,

so hence go ahead

to get dude duke to choke,

or light a fire under my keister,

nsync with strong arms

issuing lances jabbing poke

but natural gas within me

will endanger nearby folk.

Now listen up,

cuz Zarathustra hath spoke

randomly selected Matthew Scott Harris

sitting prettily athwart

(think Boy George of Culture Club)

on his toadstool,

his (courtesy Zarathustra)

divine inspiration he doth not cloak

couched admonition forewarning

demise kisser will croak

unless he/she qualifies as

bonifide LGBTQ - okey doke

don't say, I did not give fair warning,

while going for broke

courtesy one gay (ping) small/medium

at large frog, usually found soak

king up sunbeams

nonchalantly taking toke

exotic blend comprising

flies, mosquitoes, moths

and damn dragonflies

after they did marinate and soak

within solution mainly egg yolk

to offer greatest smoke.

Oh don't be confused, flummoxed,

nor ill humored regarding mine

married status with tadpoles

totalling ahem... sixty nine

heterosexual biological reproduction

consummated as faux sign

unable to retrofit, reddit, ribbit...

no I honest got a short backbone (spine)

with large hip bone to support

powerful leg muscles taut as pine

yet smooth and glassy as River Seine

out true self before I feign to croak

purportedly rumor heard thru grapevine,

but twitch started by yours truly.

Postscript: my apology,

noah arked intent cited as offender

toward any living creature sexual gender

who might take objection regarding

unfairly labeled, hashtagged,

as duped pretender

cuz thy persona, karma,

charisma... genuinely legally tender.