Head of two person patriarchy...

Breathes sigh of relief 

(like toe tilly gnarly mon)

footing expenses good grief.

Onus encompassing marital

responsibilities with (Holy Scott)

Matt man locked dread

precariously rested squarely and unfairly

upon mine figurative lead

pencil necked geek hirsute head,

and bony shoulders, that said

lemme communicate with modesty

and frankly earnest Sesame Street cred

hoop fully words understandable

meant tubby easily interpreted and read

lookout for courtesy double entendres

signalling where Willy wed

did himself, yet careful to tread,

no faster than sixty nine as he sped

into forbidden, verboten two lipped arrid

hot zone bubbling volcanic oasis

plunging his swollen jughead

suffocating till gratefully dead.

Reroute threaded needle gaining nascent

ability to manage independent living,

whereby counterpart availed

her pheromone scent

spurring feeling heightened testosterone,

within instantaneous moment

thus took tactile apprenticeship

receiving mail order bride thru

correspondence course sent,

I also donned role of special ops agent

provocateur, a hardened gent

fluke how I became

process of elimination chosen incumbent

learned, familiarized, adept...

grudgingly accepted covenant

to pay affordable low income rent,

plus manage other monthly bills due, i.e.

water, telecommunications insurance

(automobile and renters), and electric -

companies (Aqua Pennsylvania, Verizon,

Nationwide and Peco

respectively) with efficient

aplomb mastered (dub bate double)

art of being accommodating tenant.

Domestic chargé d'affaires

became mine bailiwick

dint of the missus being

disinclined and less quick

budgeting, hence I inadvertently

accepted lickity split,

subsequent obligation did

smoothly clack and click,

which minimized conflict

whereby we shared equal intrinsic

reciprocity complicity, culpability

then at playtime, thee enigmatic

one whipped out adult toys

stashed in the attic.

Altercations impossible to avoid,

'specially when unemployed

(think Rob zombie humanoid)

additionally, I lacked emotionally unalloyed

communication cues, nearly destroyed

romance, cuz only recourse re: primal

non verbal, viz Braille

while disguised as android

amorousness I expressly enjoyed

satisfactorily papa bear

groaning courtesy steroid

launching petsmart aery mission

poised to strike no

matter mainly to void

i.e. unpacking heat prohibited,

one tony peppy trooper deployed,

but unexpectedly waylaid

understandably yours truly annoyed

unsheathed hot pistol manually toyed.

Admission, confession, decision firmly laid

down, I oft times insisted felt test ease made

purposeless seething hormonal secretion

triggered fountainhead sprayed

activated provocation upbraid

ding the then live in girlfriend

French kissing parlez vous

pledged troth plus

serving as milkmaid.