What am i supposed to do?

You call me after dark,

Expecting me to answer only to leave me in the car

What am I supposed to do?

And when I really think about it,

I say that allot

Maybe I mean it

Because in all honestly

I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do now

How to start back up on it all..

I think if I stopped trying to think about it

And just went with the flow,

Maybe it could work,

But then I’m just thinking about not thinking about it,

Which in turn,

Leads me to start thinking about it again.

Theres something I need to confront huh

I guess I’m just kinda scared

Because everything I want to confront,

Doesn’t feel confrontable

I suppose thats an issue

I suppose I need to start doing something

To start solving all my issues.

I kept waiting so long for good chances to come,

Saving my first this and that for a ‘real’ this or that,

But I guess theres always bad before theres good,

And although its important to make the first’ this or thats special,

when I think about it..

Maybe its also okay

If just as long as you eventually have atleast one really special this or that,

That you get a special one at some point in time,

Then its not so bad

Just because it wasn’t the first time.

my insides are telling me

I need to be more bold,

Stop worrying about stepping on peoples toes,

Thats not like me anyways,

Ugh

Why is this so fucking hard.

And also,

How do I do this without being an asshole too?

Fuck.

Ae