Inordinate amount of leisure time

Might help explain how fruit

full this harmless poetic brute,

(a Methacton School of hard knocks

grad), who sports astute

demeanor with ample

brew netted locks,

vaguely androgynously cute,

his trademark signature hirsute

unstyled wavy hair

tell tale characteristic,

not that I care if anyone

gives rats ass and/or hoot

bummer attire acceptable since

long unemployed and

recipient with meager loot

receiving social security

disability to boot,

nonetheless can while

away unlimited numbers

of wee hours into morning

yea ideally best time to sleep,

but also most optimal,

while the missus thrashes

in bed thankfully mute

unless ya don't count

flatulence she doth toot

disrupting and derailing

train of thought

courtesy trumpeting glute.

An unexpected whistling

unlike Christopher Robin

hi ho... hi ho exiting

their wooded den

(think Snow White and

her seven dwarf men)

off to work they go to earn cents

(unbeknownst conversion into) yen

boot just enough to undergo

gastric bypass surgery

to shrink abdomen,

plus grueling boot camp regimen

guaranteeing bullseye

hit courtesy artillerymen

nsync with honing

sharp eyed acumen

joining (rather leading) civilians

carrying out coup d’etat

putsch ching aside feeble,

inept and lame

president to step up

and augment pen

ultimate last ditch effort

to halt climate change

to stave turning planet Earth

into self destructive oven.

All joking aside horrific,

née apocalyptic crisis doth loom

perhaps even unleashing mushroom,

clouds (thrown in for good measure)

encompassing entire planet

assuredly spelling doom,

where liquidation and fire sale

at all brick and mortar

stores will bloom,

(just ash at the front desk)

charcoal burnt offering skeleton crew

pointing blackened decker

index finger boom

meringue literally every black

Friday, Saturday, Sunday...

until every tomb

morrow until end of time.