daydreaming

Dementia

Another year, a few more tears
I see confusion in your eyes
Your body stays so still, distressed
Wish I could take your pain away.

I see your same old messy room
It’s filled with things that you once knew
But half the time you have no clue
Remembering is too hard for you.

“Did you hear what I hear?
These sounds are music to my ears!”
No Mom, it's very late and awfully quiet
I'm taken over by the silence.  


“Did you see what I see?
Look at the lights all around me!
I see a message on the wall!”
No Mom, there’s nothing there at all.

“Did you feel what I feel?
Someone comes to me in my sleep!
He sits right by my side...”
No Mom, there’s no one here at night.

I wish I had the strength
To lift this heavy cloud away
The world you're in is just too far
Your mind has left me far behind.

But if it ever comes a time when 
You don't remember who I am
I'll read you a story late at night
As I sit close and by your side.


It’s the story about a girl
Whose head was full of hope and dreams
Who dedicated her life
To raise a little boy like me.

He sang all her favorite songs
He painted on canvas a world she'd know
He came to her late at night
To kiss and hold her very tight.


He was the one destined to write
No matter what she did or who she was
The journey of the most caring Mom
That anyone could ever want.

Dedicated to my mother, Jenny Arguinzoni

Comments2

  • Laura

    Ed,

    Waking up from a dream about my mom whom I miss so much, I came to visit MPS because that’s what I do when my nights are devoid of sleep. The first poem I read this early morning is yours. A beautiful poem you’ve written... but so, so sad! It brought tears to my eyes. It made me wonder if that’ll be me one day! Will I be remembered and/or written about as you have of your mom?
    You are a wonderful son!

    Thank you for sharing!

    ~Laura~

    • daydreaming

      Laura,

      Thank you so much for supporting me on this journey and I am sorry if your Mom suffered the same fate mine currently is. The fact you have related to me either as the person writing about this issue or the person who could some day experience the sting of this illness makes me feel that I am not alone after all. This illness starts with little changes in behavior which don't mean much until one day you can no longer cover the sky with the palm of your hand.

      Dementia shows itself like a sudden slap on the face. And our lives will never be the same. But you may not have to go through any of this. Being educated on the subject is the first step to fighting this unknown. Thank you for understanding my message and I really hope it touched you in a positive way. Sleep tight. Tomorrow is another day.

      Ed

      • Laura

        Thank you, Ed!
        My mom was not afflicted with dementia. She had other medical issues; however, I do know/have known of individuals with dementia! One such individual was my Uncle! It was so, so sad to see him in such a state!
        Once again, thank you for sharing!

      • 2 more comments

      • Unsub

        DD,

        I used to run a dementia unit with 45 individuals in. It waas a heartbreaking time but also one of the most fantastic moments of my life.

        Just to get a brief moment of reality with an individual would make my day.

        I was popular amongst the residents simply because I was easily remembered because of my bald head. Their faces would light up because they new this bald guy was someone they recognised & knew.

        I was in the position of being in charge so i could spend much more time one to one with the people.

        I understand the difficulties of dementia from both the individuals side & the families side.

        I'd spend hours sitting in a themed room which had props from their era. Might be an old telephone or rationing cards etc. It was when they became immersed in these objects that i would see what I used to call 'golden moments'. They could recall vivid stories by holding these props & remembering a time when they used it.

        Really understood your poem my friend.

        It is an emotional journey.

        Unsub.

        • daydreaming

          Unsub,

          Thank you for reminding me that there are cool moments to be had. If we perceive reality through our senses, and if we can agree that our senses differ from one person to the next, then her world is as real to her as my world is to mine. She is fascinated by what she sees.

          Her frustration comes from my inability to experience what she experiences. Perhaps I should dive right into her world so that she does not feel isolated nor rejected... :)

          I am trying to teach her how to differentiate between fantasy and reality. But so far I have been unsuccessful. At times she is quite lucid and she understands.

          This experience is teaching me a little bit more about human nature and the relationship that exits between our physical world, our brains and the way we process information.

          Once again thank you for expressing your experiences with your patients.

          Sincerely,

          Ed



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