PRIDE!

I used to bury myself in school always made the best grades.

I used to read a lot of books; romance novels were my favorite.

I used to write sad poetry; and man was I good.

I used to go to bed early and sleep late.

I used to do my makeup and fix my hair every time I left my house.

I used to waste countless hours on dating apps and begging for a boyfriend.

I used to wash, dry, fold, and put away my laundry all in the same day.

I used to love going to my hometown on the weekends to visit old friends.

I used to spend most of my time watching TV and playing games.

And then it happened.

I met the love of my life.

Within an instant, everything I have ever known; changed.

I now make terrible grades, and rarely go to class.

I haven’t picked up a book in over 2 months.

I sit down to write and magic no longer flows from my fingertips.

I stay up all night and sleep till noon.

I never put on makeup, my hair is always up, and I live in a pair of sweats.

I’ve deleted all my dating apps and stopped looking for love.

I now wait weeks to do my laundry and even then, it only gets washed, dried, and shoved in a basket.

I haven’t been home in almost a month.

I still watch a lot of TV and play lots of games but only because she sits right beside me.

I make bad grades because I no longer need good ones for validation that I am worth something, because she loves me regardless of my degree.

I don’t read fantasy romance books anymore because it doesn’t get better than what I have right in front of me, Nicholas Sparks doesn’t have a thing on my woman.

I find it hard to write because there are no words to describe my love for her, I have searched the dictionary for a word that expresses what she makes me feel but there is none.

I stay up at night because I don’t want to miss one moment of being with her. If she awakes for something in the middle of the night, I want to be there to comfort her, and in the morning it’s her face I want to see in the soft light of sun.

I never wear makeup because she tells me I’m beautiful without it and she truly means it, she doesn’t care if I wear sweats or jeans because she sees who I am on the inside.

I never needed the dating apps because if you look for love you will never find it.

I don’t have time to do laundry on a regular basis because I never want to go home or spend a second away from her if I don’t have to.

I haven’t been home in so long because I can’t stand to spend a day without my love, and I can’t take her with me because my family and friends do not understand our love, because according to them, we are missing a part.

That is the cruel part about it all. I have found the most beautiful thing in the entire world, the only thing in this life that has meaning, and I can’t share it with the people who are supposed to love me most.