homecoming

i grew tired of haunting

the girl?

that i used to be

banging pots and pans

in the middle of the night

so many sleepless hours trying to

find a name for what

for how

i felt

this was one waiting game

i was not willing to wait out

perched at the end of

my little twin bed

watching a younger version

of myself toss and turn

sweating out the nightmares

that constant question of why

and how long would this last

keeping my dentist in business

with all those hairline stress fractures

in my clenched jaw

teeth splintered into something sharper

but never sharp enough

to gnaw through the 

trapped and infected limb

that was feeling stuck

in a body that was not mine

and maybe never had been?

i waited for that little girl

to wake up in the body of

a young man

i waited for her to

open his eyes in the 

dawn of a new day

and be coming home 

into this body

into himself

and i am so glad i did