Reindeer herd - heard clattering

Rangifer tarandus kept

this deep sleeper awake

cavorting, deer ring

escapade haint fake

dreamt only a smattering while

Santa did shimmy and shake

with ho...ho...ho...

no worry mate - everything's jake

resonating resembling thus Spake

Zarathustra jollity did quake.

Yours truly (i.e, me)

awoke with rapture

forty hooves with

four "toes" on each foot

surreptitiously, soundlessly, and simply

did invisibly bore

I noiselessly swore

sizable wrapped holiday box

with duct tape to secure

merchandise found thee missus

(Abby) excitedly tore

painstakingly, neatly, and lovingly

my feeble protest she did ignore

(think lame gesticulations)

ah... lo and behold goodies galore

unable to deter impetuous more

or less analogous to child like roar

ring with giddy excitement

December twenty fifth,

could not await opening your

linkedin holiday deliverance

including Trader Joe's gift card

to "fake" Monseigneur

Matthew Scott with dogspeed

to wish thee (Andy, Ansley,

Marley - if by ghost of chance...)

plus other kith and kin) bonjour,

and joyful new year, whence two score

orbitz will find me

newly minted centenarian, argh... your

brother not yet ready to explore

afterlife, which grave kismet unavoidable,

courtesy grim reaper conquistador

though... even now no fear arises,

when permanent sleep shall nevermore

witness generalized (anticipatory)

anxiety cease to perdure,

which bouts of panic

running rampant near winded seen yore

citizen banker (me) disgruntled

as if possessed by maniacal führer

running me rampantly ragged das

exhausting emotional furor

takes (and/or took) toll, I deplore

and decry lifelong psychological struggle

germinating while in utero,

when my nonexistence

no bigger than a spore

biological vagaries manifestation

nine months before

set figurative deoxynucleic acid

blueprint stage permanently

etched to the core

every cell sporting mutation

begetting, coding, dunning ensure

ring subsequent generations

oft times pondering,

whence final breath of relief

will signal time to scatter ashes

buzzfeeding boughs of sycamore.