Maxine Smith

Never have I ever .....


Never have I ever tripped and pretended like I meant it
Nor have I ever text the wrong person, something private and explicit
Never ever have I ever nervous laughed in tense situations
Nor have I got HANGRY releasing every single frustration
Never have I ever shown up for work at the wrong day and time
Nor have I ever tried to open someone’s car thinking it was mine


Never have i ever tickled a bullfrog with a feather
and never, never ever did i thrash a boy with leather
No never in stormy weather did i stumble upon a treasure
Nor ever, simply for pleasure, become a man of leisure
never never, no not once ever.... now i think you have my measure
.....dusk arising


Never have I ridden a bike wearing a silly helmet
And if ever I did, I’m sorry to say, I’d find it quite repellent
For my street cred would go in one foul stroke
No - I’m certainly not that kind of bloke.


Never does papa forget deux daughters das dada did dote, and now they long since ventured on their own, he doth decry (unintentional) damage done dirt (poor) cheap.
Never does he (i.e. me) tire to risk an apologetic overchure aware his deplorable demeanor deposited permanent indelible unpleasant memories.
Never do I squander precious sands of time aware how quick tempus fugit, and thus sublimating bitter aftertaste of days gone by thyself more or else channels riptides of past into ebbing tide of future.


I’ve never gone cycling with a parrot on my shoulder
And I certainly don’t want to as I get older.
For it’s not a practice that’s widely spread
And I’m no eccentric let it be said!


I’ve never been cycling with a boiled egg on my head
Such an idea goes down like lead
A fried egg would be better for should I cough
the chances are it would never roll off


Never have I been asked to do this
Tell you of a tale I happen to miss
But if you see it come running your way
Please remind me of what I never could say...


NEVER HAVE I EVER ~ ANGELA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEVER HAVE I EVER - EVER!
SWUM naked in a River
COS if I did I know Id shiver
AND all my wobbly bits would quiver !
NEVER HAVE I EVER
PUT five arrows in my quiver
SHOT an arrow at random
HIT my Aunty on her Tandem !
NEVER HAVE I EVER
TRIED a knot to sever
THAT tied my feet together
Stopped me going Hell for Leather !
NEVER HAVE I EVER - EVER !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THANKS for starting ~ such FUN !

Comments2

  • ANGELA & BRIAN

    HI MAXINE ~ Brian here too late too late for a very importan date I guess ANGELAS ode tipped the BALANCE ! Congrats on getting 11 great responses & all in a single day ! I guess it was your choice of an Open ended ~ abstract Title ! However because it is no longer DEVELOPING doesnt stop me from also adding an ODD ODE !

    NEVER HAVE I EVER
    Jumped from a Brige
    Into a River !
    It isnt that Im CALLOW
    But that the River
    May be too Shallow
    Id hate to fracture
    Th OLD LUNCH BOX
    On several sharp & hidden ROX !
    Especially if a Bridge is steep
    Always look first
    Before you LEAP ~ AMEN !

    Blessings ~ Peace & Joy
    Yours BRIAN 💙💙💙

  • Gregstarandgoff

    Great idea and a fun poem. Enjoyed reading it.

    • Maxine Smith

      Glad you liked it, great work from everyone.



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