Ah... tis nothing greater than...

malfunctioning heater on brisk winter day!

Thee particular date being

December twenty eighth,

two thousand nineteen, I saith

the Jack of all trades

maintenance technician

Kevin Blank said he would notify

HVAC expert in good faith,

yet to compliment clangorous din...

I called upon the ghost of Marley's wraith.

Thus despite compressor issuing

cacophonous, deafening,

ear splitting noise

clattering din louder

than convention of reindeer -

doubled as all boys

(choir) followed by cavalcade

of santa claus, he employs,

the missus of course with equipoise,

and countless elves pressed

for service mending

broken brand new toys.

Why... yes twas during

recent brutal bitter cold spell

methought, yours truly got sent,

where absolute zero temperature

more frigid than hell

of course, I felt like human popsicle

management didn't give a lick,

no matter yours truly gave rebel yell

Billy me you, I immediately

yearned (some weeks back) for April

May, June... some tell

tale sign to alleviate pell mell

bone crushing polar vortex

preserved frozen awful

botox smile impossible mission to quell,

nor avoid frostbite

to deep freeze every cell

millenniums later despite

climate changed dystopian future

thawed out body reason to kvell.

Forsooth mindlessly jabbering away

jaw frenziedly attempting to convey

how this schlemiel,

would be war re: not game to foray

toward distant forbidding terrain

fifty shades of gray,

alien unrecognizable – nay

boor hood of the late Mister Rogers,

nonetheless expressed gratitude

confessed, I unconsciously did pray

while suspended animation did stay

slowing or stopping

of biological function

physiological capabilities

unpitted and preserved - yea.

Hence upon being

and getting woke

feeling like I slept forever

and a day - no joke

most certainly well rested

constitution I did evoke

intensely scrutinizing men

chilled wren, and women folk,

who appeared out of this world

mutated into Roanoke

smooth as glass skin cloak

against ultraviolet rays

causing skin cancer

their attenuated limbs strong as oak

versatile to prod and poke,

whereby superior petsmart

doggone noggin could invoke

telepathic communication

interestingly enough issuing smoke

signals, whenever danger present

and capable to disappear

as if doing breast stroke.