Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...

dramatically expanding spouse

Eats her weigh out of home and house

unsolicited feedback courtesy

yours truly, she does grouse

quite doubtful, she could pose

for playboy and/or penthouse

returning explicit volley

of trailing appellations lobbed

expletive laced epithets

directed at her husband the louse

in lame retaliation deftly

sparring as he doth rouse

himself out of his vittle catatonic state

thus muenster ring cheeses crust

squeaks (me) meek Mickey Mouse.

When I did pledge troth

after courtship she would not abate

aboot two dozen years ago

(spoiler alert) wheezing

heterosexually straight

half heartedly accepting her

asthma wife sne...

snee...sneezing mate

even then, she exhibited

appetite for consumption

defying four foot eleven

petite size and lightweight.

Now, she eats

non stop round the clock

stationing, lumbering, burgeoning

girth casting dock

shadows analogous to

edge of night

donning humongous frock

to allow growing room

for extra buttock

vacuuming any/all

comestibles in sight

downing, emptying, gulping

refrigerator contents chock a block

nearly suctioning him,

who doth tongue in cheek mock

think apple pie, yet for

grace of dog ad hoc

anchoring spindleshanks laughingstock

skinny chicken legs (mine)

with knees that knock

worse than concentration camp victim,

(this gentile Jewish atheist gently pock

king fun without intent to rock

the casbah, nor ethnically clash

mainly innocent poetic schlock),

nonetheless chicken legs

repurposed to anchor lock

stock and barrel Matthew Scott

madly flapping wings imitating flock

of seagulls to no avail

his flabby baby boomer

body, mum mama

followed dietary strictures touted by

the late Doctor Benjamin McLane Spock,

no matter, I got hoovered

into maw of tee misses,

who instantaneously

spit out awful poppycock.