Depressed

Every damn New York minute is a lifetime

Dragging on like a television show 

It makes me zone out of reality

Leaving my hubris behind

Have you ever been in purgatory?

There are no foxgloves 

Only angels 

The ones which fell from grace 

 

How can I possibly ignore I'm in pain?

Do you know what it's like to be forever depressed?

Jaded and folded-up in bed with a killer headache

There's a big black cloud hanging over me

I'm plagued with fatigue

Enervated, I crave sleep

I've spent too many insomniac nights

Wandering down an abandoned road

 

I have felt the force of the great alligator snap

It was electric, I was illuminated 

As if I was biting into forbidden fruit and God knew

I am like no other

Looking at a gift horse in the mouth 

I know what it feels like to be left in the lurch

Listening to silence reverberate from wall to wall

Waiting for important phone calls

 

Depression runs like a river in my bones

Alas, I'm a lost echo deep in a cave

Grey smoke billowing out of a chimney 

Forming cloud shapes

I'm making eye contact with an entity

With whiskey breath

An array of delicate musical notes

Reminds me of my dysfunctional adolescence

 

Now I'm grown and writing poems on trains 

On a solo journey 

I travel around Glasgow 

Lending fake smiles to strangers 

I'm dying inside but I can't tell anyone

I'm alone in my world

Making chess moves in my fancy shoes

When I'm not busy brooding in my abode

 

I'm thinking about a distant school friend

The time when nostalgia meant nothing to me

It's comforting like a wanted hug

Nowadays my life is a sombre funeral 

Ere it was a paradise in Heaven 

I was a razor sharp bird's bill

Wreathed in constant pleasure 

Holding my hands out for a lagniappe.