Vocabulist nonalcoholic punchdrunk stupor January 1st, 2020

Unlike the vast population swath,

with painful hangover

average celebrant merely

doth confusedly blink,

who devoutly pledge

new year resolution

to give up drink

immediately fall off wagon


as he/she eagerly downs

shot after fermented shot

while forearms link

with family, friends,

strangers, et cetera

and immediately rethink

alcoholics anonymous pledge

gamely nod and playful wink.

Yours truly (me) never found

wasted, soused, besotted,

et cetera alone

and/or with round

of best buddies real,

and/or imaginary

nor got stone drunk crowned,

(cuz never did I make

friends - no lie),

plus never felt compunction

to quaff hard inebriant

(think booze hound)

life as extremely gawky introvert

(think long haired

pencil necked geek)

preferred company of books

with cute button nose bound

between pages, this theme

I could expound

till cows come home to roost

after bovines well rested

from their sound

sleep unready and unwilling

to confront battleground

(think slaughterhouse five),

thus beef rendered me, we clowned

and hoofed up memories

promising each other pound

for pound, we would stand our ground

never freeload, mooch, sponge...

nor EVER succumb to the bottle

no matter how hardbound,

especially when attaining rough-age

older not necessarily wiser

if necessary resorting and astound

ding farmer in the dell

to Diet of Worms smellbound

while reenacting Holy

Roman Empire called

back in the hay day -1521

courtesy Emperor Charles V

offering sobering admission

lips ne'er taste amber and/or clear
liquids of the gods, no matter

believe me you reader hopefully

aforesaid confession doth not dumbfound.