January 6th, 2020, 2AM

SZTDP

Hell, I don't even know.

Talking with the love of my life, still insecure.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I hate how she gets jealous over my skinniness.

Thing is, I don't particularly like how I look.

I've learned to handle it, but looking at my full self in a mirror still drags me down just a little bit.

And it fucks me up even more, when a trait I dislike about myself makes her dislike herself.

I have a very high metabolism. I've been stuck at 55kg for the past 3 or so years.

My height is around 178cm, so according to the whole BMI thing I'd need to reach 60kg to have a "normal" weight.

At this point I just care about not looking skinny.

My wrists are tiny, my arms are skinny, my legs are skinny, my ribs show.

That's not necessarily something bad, but...

I just want her to feel beautiful.

I just want to make her feel like she's the most gorgeous person to ever exist.

Yet every time we meet up, she just feels... big.

I hate that.

God I love her.

But she's having trouble loving herself, and it breaks my heart.

And if I mention anything about it, she feels even worse because technically she's made me feel pain because of her own insecurities.

The most amazing person in the world, and I'm sure quite a few guys can relate to the pain of their love undervaluing themselves.

And I hate the fact that I can't just kiss and cuddle her insecurities away.

At least not at this moment.

I still have hope, and I'm keeping it.

Someday, she'll realize how ravishing she truly is.

And maybe someday, I'll realize that I look good too.

And someday...

We'll laugh at the fact that we ever thought otherwise.

...

Well, I don't know how effective slam poetry is (if this can even be considered a slam poem, or even a poem), but if someone reads this and relates, you now know that you're not alone.

And you better keep on going with the quest of making her feel gorgeous.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll stop the cheesiness here and go back to talking on Discord to the person who brings me the most joy in this world, and who I will never get tired of staring at.

Have a good one.

  • Author: SZTDP (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 5th, 2020 20:11
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 18
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