life becomes sleep walking
staggering through
physiology in havoc
stay in bed to de-hydrate
fallen down a hole
to a fill of questions
to go where, where to go?
darkness
but there are colours
can't walk, falling over
falling sickness
3am stomach
boil and burn
just tired
feeling so ill
tears flow
in anguish and despair
this foulness i feel
never ever shall i give in
but i've had enough
i cry in sickness and despair
-
Author:
dusk arising (
Offline) - Published: January 8th, 2020 01:51
- Comment from author about the poem: I think most people know that chemotherapy drugs are imperfect. Theyre designed to do the brutal task of destroying cancer cells and preventing regrowth. Along with Radiotherapy, specialists can and do cure this evil invader of our bodies. But brutal is as brutal does, for they upset destroy and mess up so many other bodily functions that you will feel so ill you almost lose the will to live because of these side effects. On the night when i penned this piece i had reached such a low that i was ready to give up. Ive always been a positive minded person and i will fight and fight and fight along with my specialists to be rid of this cancer, but here i have to record words i wrote in a pit of pain, sickness, and self loathing.... chemotherapy, my saviour, my hopes, my wishes, my conquerer, my willpower faltered. Several hours later, i'm lifted through positive mind power, my way! Im looking forward to better tomorrows.
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- Views: 29
Offline)
Comments5
A sensitive write DA.
You're not on theme of religion - but whether of any religion or none, we can all share compassionately with you in this.
A church interestingly has advertised: 'Meditation Group, for those of any faith or none'.
LOL no church invented compassion orchidee, its a human trait. Indeed one does not need any church to meditate.
Nonetheless thanks for reading and commenting. This was written some weeks back at the end of my treatments when i was suffering after effects at their worst. Im pleased to report that i am feeling a lot lot better today and hopefully continue to improve. Gotta get back to my previous fitness level at least.
A heart-wrenching read my dear brave friend - -with you as you fight for your better health - may you keep looking forward to lighter tomorrows - - -comforting hugs meanwhile.
Thanks for the comforting care Fay. I'm a lot lot better now but not quite what i used to be yet.
ANGELA HERE - Good morning DA - Thnaks for sharing dome of the debilitating effects of CHEMOTHERAPY ! It will be helpful for others in similar circumstances - to know they are not alone - and I trust it is CATHARTIC for YOU. As a PHYSIO I have clients who are Cancers Patients and AQUATHERAPY and AROMATHERAPY Masage can be beneficial in maintaing quality of LIFE.
Every Blessing for the FUTURE for YOU & YOURS
Love ANGELA & BRIAN 🧡💙🧡💙🧡
It is OK to be anguish and despair. You are fighting a hard battle in your life. I admire your courage and your strength. Big hug from me. You will be the winner.
I'm not sure that courage and strength come into it to be honest.... it's more about just wanting to stay alive and taking what ever they throw at you with a positive mindset.... once thats in place u can just get on with it LOL
I resonated with this a little bit, obviously not in the way you have, as your experience is just a physically taxing as it is emotionally. But it does express despair very well. Especially the term sleepwalking, where at times in your despair you're already glassy-eyed but wish you could just fall into a coma completely and wake up when everything's over. A very raw write.
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