yellowrose

coldness in the world, and the spilling out of emotions

 

sadness , and grief speak silently amongst the tears in my eyes
they brush lightly on my cheek
so softly expressing themselves to me

I cannot be like a bottle with the lid on
holding the contents within
i release my emotions , helplessly , sometimes
anger , fear , sadness , grief
they spill out
tears , raising my voice , reacting like a helpless child when I feel frightened
I can't hide how I feel very well at all
it's really hard to hold it all in , and pretend to other people that I am feeling ok
because I know that I'm being " fake " and " untrue " to how I feel
and I may come across as " robotic
numb to emotions
blocking it out with so much ease

I am like an bottle with a lid let loose
expressing , venting , crying , snapping , reacting impulsively sometimes to people or situations around me
sometimes I feel like I have no skin
when I feel off centre and out of balance internally , the outer can only add on and cause a reaction in me
today I felt very vulnerable , so my neighbours terribly loud music caused more vulnerability
I reacted in stress out of the window to the guy next door
becoming angry at their inconsideration
only to be told to " p..." off , and other rude reactions to me

I hate the coldness shown in this world
situation after situations of hurts and pains
often causing me to feel like the world is somehow out to get me
and , why ?
it feels unfair when situations after situations come into your life
and on one level or another ...they traumatise you , and make you cry
is that fair ? I get tired of situations upsetting me so much
I end up feeling in an unkind life
a life of situations stirring so many negative emotions within my skin
Makes me cry
because who wants this for a life ?
who wants years of upset
nobody .
you think the upsetting situations have stopped
but they just continue
or another situation comes in to trouble your mind
and it feels taunting
and I feel like the world is often out to get at me
and that's not fair
it's cruel
I just do not want anymore upsetting situations in life
why is that too much to ask for ?
there is only so much upset one person can endure
and in fed up of feeling like the world , people and situations are simply out to hurt me
it isn't fair on me and my life

Comments2

  • FineB

    Hello Yellowrose,

    A brilliant write.

    I sympathise with you totally. The world nowadays is rude, cold and heartless.

    You are the light in the world.

    Don't give up in being good, positive and kind believe you me in the long term your good qualities will very much be admired in this world when people can't be bothered to be civil.

    Keep writing FineB

    • yellowrose

      Thanks fine -b . I appreciate your kind words . I've also had someone else be horrible to me more recently ... That hasn't helped . People can be so selfish and cruel . Thanks for your support .

    • Maxine Smith

      Life throws so much at you, it makes it more difficult each time to try get back up.

      But

      Keep trying, you are stronger than you think.

      Your write beautifully and I’m sending you great vibes, as I know how tough it is to deal with inner demons.’

      • yellowrose

        Thanks Maxine ...
        I think because certain other situations have come in more recently ... That again I have been kind of triggered into feeling certain feelings again . But I am also going through a spiritual awakening ... I also think that could be causing some of the pains too , and some of the fears . Yes , i really feel awful sometimes but other times so much more peaceful .., but it's definately been difficult dealing with such horrible feelings again . Thanks for your support and your kind words



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