Wildfire

Bullshit spreads like wildfire when it has little to do with me

I was forced into submission again for the fourth time in only one year.

Nobody really has my back anymore and it drains me to find the reasons why

My sky is always filled with omens ..good and bad are two halves of a whole..you really dont want to have one without the other..as wild as that fact sounds

That is why it is a truth so seldomly spoken out loud

You dont really want to be proud of your accomplishments and even more so , you don't want others to give their own pride up to make room for their supposed pride for you..

We forget too often how long it has been known to be a deadly sin..

It's the worst one of them ..believe me...or better yet , call me crazy so you are forced to find out on your own..

It is not your place to condone me ...I gave all that up to My Creator a long time ago..

Is it not hard enough in this life to learn who you are inside and to deal with what lies within yourselves?

It is a bitch, which is why so many seek knowledge from more evolved beings...

I wish sometimes that nobody ever was able to figure out my true nature and that they never would have come forth to try and enter my inner realm

These days im like a broke pirate at the helm of an ancient ghost ship...im about to go start robbing these self centered bastards blind like they have never hesitated to do to me..

It would not solve anything..it would just continue to take all the emptiness and loathing and make it spread across the distance like wildfire..

I feel like Australia and The California coast all wrapped up in one already..

I just want my life back..to be able to live it in my own way and keep a steady flow with everything else..it never pays to run amok ..ive done that too many times before..

But it doesn t feel right to shut the door in everyone elses face just because they are in a different space than me..I once thought that it was my place to somehow free them..at least from some if not all of their pain..

And in return I landed myself in a kind of pain more difficult than any of my own..

Everyone I have ever known will never forget me...even if I have forgotten them..

I am not sure if thats a good thing anymore,  honestly...

All that I know now is that it is time for me to dust all the remnants of disaster that lingers off of myself and begin my journey  once again. Just as I have had to do many times before.. I am moving forward with or without them..it is not up to me to sway their decisions anymore...

2/29/2020