Restless thoughts

My friend slit his own throat, and I must admit it’s hard to fucking cope

My homegirl started sucking my ex’s dick, yeah it stings but gee I wonder does she swallow or spit?

I fucked a boy that I was crushing on for 7 months, it turned out my “thot behavior” costed me a friendship

I discovered the definition of “home boy” and I guess that was crossing the line, I must admit that didn’t even cross my mind

Thoughts of suicide run through my head especially on late nights when I cry in bed

I’m miles away from the only people that have my back, it makes me feel vulnerable to any attack

I hate who I have become, I must admit my legs burn from how much I run

I run from my problems

I run from my emotions

I run from my own devotions

I try to give you all my best smile and it works for a while

But somewhere along the line I have been labeled as a big joke

People assume my loyalty is some big hoax

Maybe it is

My friend, I should have answered my fuckin phone

Girl, I should have just left you alone

Yeah I let my crush bust a nut, he wanted to and so did I

He didn’t even know how long he caught my eye

Don’t worry this isn’t a love letter, I know better

I like pretty faces, I go through weird phases

I don’t have an explanation for my actions

I don’t know the laws to attraction

I just wanted a fucking distraction

I am more than an emotional mess

I am more than my own distress

I don’t want to close my self out but every day I am reminded of my doubts

Please just put me to rest