Memories of Zagreb

This story of tragic love is the truth
Verily I say unto you 'tis so
'Twas in the fair town of Zagreb
That such things were seen in the days of long ago
I met the lovely Januska
Croatian lady of unknown age but with many scalps
On her bedpost and a total slut
Strolling along Tkalčićeva
How was I to know this
Was traditional knocking shop street?

Oh how romantic an evening
The sitting and sipping of rakija
Together with tasty figs seemed like prelude to
Steamy night of hot horny bonkings, Zagreb-style.

Comments on why gorgeous Januska limped a bit
Revealed she had a wooden leg
But I was not deterred
Even when required to stump up
Five hundred kuna for the bedroom full works
Unless I preferred a shop-doorway knee-trembler
For only two hundred, hard bargain maybe one-eighty.

In my boutique B&B boudoir there ensued
Brief low when prosthetic leg and boot
Taken off to reveal weeping sore
But no problem and shoved her tongue
Twixt my waiting tonsils and soon Anglo-Croatian
Relations improved via mighty orgasm.

"Did you like?" is consulted (a true lady)
"It was passable" I declared tentatively
And a slight laugh in case offence taken
So deed was repeated better next time
As done from rear end extra tasty
In this way we may be put to shame
For the memory of the night I am left desolate
And five hundred down the drain.