To Be Free...

To be free, to be weightless, to be free of pain,

It’s all I want.

The crushing weight, the struggle for breath, the tearing of my heart, it’s all I feel.

I want an escape, an out. I want freedom.

I thought that was the worst of it. But now I would give anything to feel it again, any of it.

Numb, a blank page, nothing. that’s what I’m left with.

The piercing of skin, slicing of skin and nothing, nothing but red. No pain, no sound, nothing.

If only someone cared to look, see behind the mask, see me.

Drowning, gasping for air, pulled under, darkness.

Screaming, yelling, crying, calling out, lips never moving, no one hearing.

Caged, wings clipped, broken leg, anything to keep me grounded, not moving, not flying.

Still, silent.