A missed miscarriage

"Do you think this is the last of it?"
"The last of what?" I ask
Is saying the miscarriage or my babies name
Just too much of a task?

It's not the elephant in the room
More like the gaping huge hole in my heart
My miracle baby died inside me
And now I'm right back at the start

I wonder what colour your eyes were
Or the hair upon your head
I wonder if you would of been like me
Or like your father instead

But all I'll ever know of you
Is the beating of your heart
And the warm feeling that you gave me
Right from the very start

I'll never get to call your name
Or hear you call me mum
Because the end came upon us
Before it even begun