Sanguine Lies

This death is long overdue

It only took two overdoses and a handful of hangings

But now we're here

We're finally here

And "by my will, this shall be finished"

I reminisce on my romantic escapades, so many laughable failures

And only four positive experiences to show for it

Estella, Jordan, Josephine, and Margaret

Though I never knew any sort of intimacy, I am happy to have known them

I wish them better luck than I had

I remember my friends and the time we shared

Indeed, it was fun, and it gave me hope

Despite what I am about to do

My battle-brother, my champion, my dearest friend

He alone occupies my thoughts, and for him alone I pray

That my death not hit him too hard

But I know he is strong, much stronger than I am

He is amongst the best of men, and he will live a wonderful life

It's not like my own mattered anyway

I have nothing left

No reason to endure this ceaseless tragedy

My family has left me

My friends have forgotten me

Those few that remain in contact despise me

Not even I like me

All I can do is go to death's door with pleasant thoughts

What use is ruminating on negativity when freedom is so close?

I imagine a glen enshrouded in twilight

A tree upon which I limply lay as a gentle force nudges me awake

I cast my eyes upon the visage of my belovèd

Though I did not meet her in life, we recognize one another

In tears, I beg for forgiveness, clutching her ankles

She raises me to my feet and tells me that it's ok,

That she understands, and that my pain is finally over

Sing to me your sanguine lies and make death my final dream

That my tears be not shed in vain