Dithering with hesitation on brink of abysmal precipice

Infinite pitch black void zooms,

I vacillate to pitch headlong (head over heels)

where freedom looms

large (think) cosmic size grand canyon grooms

espouses, and cloisters unbridled wedded bliss

structured sound of silence booms.

Dawdling against inevitable fate

temporarily holds in check (mate)

eternal salvation woebegone

grievance to ameliorate

repurposed conscious being (me)

sanguine reunion ridding travesty

once for all ascending soul asylum gilded gate

consanguinity amidst deceased brethren

impossible mission to discern,

thus I equivocate.

At long last doomed existence

finally fancy free and footloose

Earthly afflictions divine creator

severe trials and tribulations let loose

promise body, mind and spirit triage

damn physical, mental, and

spiritual afflictions permanent vamoose

yoked Sisyphean and mephistophelean woe

summoning herculean strength

(mine) to vanquish

courtesy (halloo) gibbet welcome noose

necks stop outer limits analogous cooked goose.

Neither family nor scant friends twill mourn

severance outlook linkedin inextricably forlorn

accursed psychological agony since I got born

incessantly pilloried courtesy bullies hood scorn

yours truly convenient scapegoat raked over hot coals

preferable versus insidious,

nefarious, and opprobrious

suffering post traumatic stress disorder wartorn

invisible battle scars branded me, yet well worn

shell shocked comfortably numbed skull

jimmied heavily inebriated distilled, cracked corn

trumpet silenced (think) muted horn.

Anger at self wells up

regarding passive stance (mine)

convenient akin to jellyfish,

and/or crustaceans without spine

essentially a dorky nerdy wimpy kid

i.e. faulty genetic design

unsure if attributable to Capricorn zodiac sign

essentially allowed, enabled and provided

easy excellent access akin to scavengers to dine

bitter draughts synonymous quaffing quinine

figuratively forced down gullet - nein

letup liberally heaped upon

bobble headed, I opine

courtesy 20/20 hindsight, a tangential pact

with Sue S. Side, promising starvation diet

package deal plus absent I,

(now a tan gent) unwittingly did cosign.