Ability to defecate wildly swings (both ways)... between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.

the former excretory bout I address

the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)

and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,

yours truly doth buttress,

a literal warranted pain in ass,

diametrically up poses,

and disinvites loving caress,

nevertheless yours truly

experienced gastrointestinal distress

countless times experienced rectal duress,

when anticipatory anxiety triggered excess

indomitable heavenly gorgeous fortress

mandating visits to the porcelain goddess

else.. heavily soiled underwear

necessitating by George thoroughly good

scouring utilizing heavy duty gloves

nsync accessing generations

old washboard and handpress.

Nowadays more often than not,

I suffer incapacity to whoop

and holler at healthy excretory

system (of the down), but troop

hunkered over (think

Hunchback of Notre Dame)

at ground zero smack dab dagnabbit,

where birds of prey swoop

doubled over in agonizing pain

believe me you, this fickle fella

experiences excruciating difficulty to poop

mein life passes before third eye blind

and joie de vivre to exclaim L'Chaim

takes kamikaze nosedive and ability

to savor existence significantly doth droop.

Nevertheless alleviation when at long last affright

dying upon commode,

when colorectal anal orifice obstruction airtight

cursing posterior dire straits regarding

(you bet your bottom dollar)

occasions behind stricken with blight

worse fate than losing cocked cat fight

malfunctioning rectum scenario analogous

loosing life versus death dogfight

plummeting at warp speed

within psychedelic atmospheric Earthlight

recognizing demise (mine)

on par jeopardizing ability,

cuz jammed alimentary canal

disallows lightening payload Humpty dump

(Thoreau Lee walled din)

and doomed as endangered bumblebee's flight

and snuffed out as quaint sputtering gaslight

era when commercial gas became available in

early 19th century in Europe and America...

see - https://www.thespruce.com/

the-gaslight-era-2175011

to glean at least one more highlight

though gaining such spruced insight

contributes no more or less than jacklight

neither rhyme nor reason why

wily prevaricating good knight

informs ye to understand might

of Matthew Scott Harris this night

(April 27, 2020) no longer fraught

regarding his sorely overtaxed sphincter

he heromin vouchsafed and wooly vowed

to accept unconditional surrender

of body dysmorphia (mine) plight

resolved swallowing bleach

(a purgative he trumpets)

to eternally lived in peace quite.

Time and again liquified human waste

i.e. loose stools (mine)

flushing bowels unchased

down toilet shunted off to treatment plant

thick sludge consistency of (crust) toothpaste

repurposed for commercial

and individual use posthaste,

especially every resident of

Lake Woebegone Poker Flat outcaste,

who as token scapegoats

(no kidding) suffer tsoris

bullies unrelenting lambaste

harbor loathing, albeit strong distaste

towards those persons deemed

undeserving comprise untouchable caste.