Aha - argh... oh my dog... don't mind me muttering, eh?

Earlier today (May 5th, 2020),

I forget thee exact hour

found me utterly beside mice elf,

matter of fact even at this moment,

yours truly doth feel mad at himself

cuz Aldi's merchandise (mostly food)

needed to be restored to their proper shelf.

Upon further contemplation

me thought quite futile

and pointless to expend energy subsequently nill...

best swallow figurative bitter pill

and maximize opportunity to take quill

in an effort to salvage sanity lest poetaster

schrieks with voice noticeably shrill,

thus if curious to discover visa vis

motive poem got crafted read further if ye will.

Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) card, i.e.

formerly known as food stamps

I never secured into wallet for safe keeping,

mine minor ohm my dog oversight surged thru me

(as if charged with a bajillion amps),

said aforementioned revelation occurred

while standing in a long line at Aldi's

attested whereby other patrons stood

pipsqueaks in tandem with their gramps

which snaked all the way to "5th and Japip."

Pointless regarding yours truly,

ordinarily insightful and adept

(in short, a generic and garden variety

local bummer) who schlepped

courtesy rubber express

(think shoe leather) - except

sneakers adorned little (mine) feet

thus imagine hypothetical inept

hobo or tramp his bindle

slung over shoulder

traversing countless miles,

cuz an odometer he (I) kept

indicated staggering and sprawling distance,

sometimes on all fours (faux pas) he crept

hence no way would exhausting effort

be made for nought.

Riches to rags summarizes bio in short

former spendthrift and prodigal son

with lip service paid toward quaffing port,

whence reduced to penury, a courtship wasted

mein kampf of pennilessness insync with sport

despite feted happy occasion,

I discreetly did cavort

unbridled shenanigans bedding young nymphs

entailed minimal effort,

when lavish catered affair slated to celebrate

one lovely slip of a lass,

she (no rookie) beguiled

stealthily intended marriage to abort,

nonetheless gaining handsome dowery

with quintessential private escort.

We both acquired deserved comeuppance

therefore allowing, enabling and providing

me opportunity to attend contra dance

by going stag

wowed by gamut of coeds

moost who with subtle nonverbal cues did entrance

oft times imagining traipsing across France

courtesans attending every private need

ah... so much for castles in the sky

invisibly concocted via

strong swooshing dominant arm with lance.

In reality scratching out what began as prime

motive to detail forgetting ebt card

intending poem to communicate

spending more',n dime

times one hundred

hemorrhaging checking account

as momentary lapse of reason with rhyme

as often occurs time and again

poem takes fabulous convolutions

squeezed like figurative lemon going from

ridiculous to the sublime.