In fates fortune

In fates fortunate timing

I always run into souls that are damaged. It’s a blessing and a curse. Literally. I have yet to meet someone I’m “interested” in that hasn’t just come out of the worst possible relationship or situation of their life, that left almost unrecoverable scars and wounds. That is my life. My luck, my fortune. I help everytime.  I am a mechanic of the heart, I swear, but in it, mine breaks, because afterwards, they leave, with a fully functional heart, all tipped off and ready to go, and my heart is left disembodied, as another important piece of it falls off.

Sometimes, I feel like I was just sent here, this world and lifetime, unmeant for love myself... not to be alone per say, where love doesn’t exist in it, because people come and go with their love so much in my life I basically have it 23/6, just none for safe keeping. After all I’ve been through with love I think my beings purpose was to just help people never lose site of it. To make it apparent... Ive gained, as well as earned the strength to pick up almost anyone going through anything. I’ve gained the ability to lift that heavy weight off their back, I am strong enough to help someone push something out of their way, I’ve even helped the most swollen shut eyes, open, I’ve also helped turn the most  stubborn necks, to face a new direction, a different one, and somehow show them a whole view they seem to have lost sight in.

It’s what I’m meant for; to eliminate negativity, and illuminate positivity... but then the pain they felt gets left with me... and I’m left, alone, stuck in feeling purgatory. As I drown in self pity, use my last bit of oxygen I’ve got left... I somehow surface in purgatory... thinking that that was my fate, my demise. I begin realizing my actual fate in this life. I’m somehow still hopeful. I still I see somewhere between the lines, in beteeen reality of what was, and what could possibly be, and still find that hope. I even call myself a hopeful romantic, specializing in the little things, majoring in happiness. I find myself still worthy of it, and capable of it.... of getting some what of a happy ending... being in love. Even on the darkest days, my hope is that little tiny light. Pointing in the directions of the steps I take. Helping me not trip and fall into some intimate hole I can’t get out of... because every time I thought I used everything that I had left in all that I am, I realized something,one of life’s greatest epiphany’s...  That everything Ive done up to this point meant something, if not for me, for someone else. And it was inevitable... and just because it never helped me, or i didn’t benefit from it, so I thought, it was meant to happen one way or another and it had reason and depth to it, that i might not even realize at the moment, or even years after, and sometimes never, but it was beneficial one way or another. I’m not about religion... but I’m about fate. Everything happens for a reason, it can be good or bad, but it’s for a reason, and it benefits life, yours, someone else’s, or just life as a whole, life itself... sometimes you’ve got to be the lesson, or an example. That doesn’t mean rush into the assumption that it’s “dooms day” because those days happen regardless and it sucks, don’t dwell, tough times can be troubling to see any sort of light, but I promise you it’s still light, and it gets brighter. Disregard the talk you don’t want to hear and the doubt others gave you, it’s not about the people screaming from the bleachers watching you stumble and fall... and it’s not about how hard you  fall, where you fall, who you fall with, or how hard it is to get up, but it’s who you are after you get up that counts, remember that. Understand without resentment that the only thing out of your hands is fate, and fates timing. Fates clock is a wheel of fortune, a work of art, and when it spins, and stops, it’s perfect timing even if it’s late, early, convenient, or inconvenient for you. Fates timing is right on time even if it’s not on your time. It’s all purpose, and we all have a very important purpose. You mean something more, and you are meant for something way bigger. I preach this to you.

NEVER let anyone,  including yourself, ruin your perception on love and life... and never give your last bit of hope for happiness... please just don’t lose yourselves like I lost me.