Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

(Nsync with variations on a theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades)

mostly I did merrily wet

whet madness aye ever did dream.)

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter

every perilous step fraught
with danger analogous

riding as passenger
with death cab for cutie

'course thy quasi bohemian rhapsodic Queen
of denial feigns ignorance

attributes hazardous condition

linkedin with accident prone

little lord Fauntleroy's

double doppelganger, me
trumpeting pet husband,

her unrequited germane Liebchen
willing to risk life and limb

doting hand and foot

as proper husbandly duties.

He (ahem... me) exhibits drama

whimsically visiting slapstick pantomime

especially pretending to remove sneakers

pulling with all my feeble strength

off little feet of wife

half-heartedly struggling,

lamely denouncing marriage

nevertheless conveying jollity

regarding marital entrapment

er... rather unbridled wedded bliss

constituting fits and starts enduring
about two dozen years.

I reciprocated amorousness,

whether toward MaryAnne,

(his long ago coldly dismissed
sagacious enchanting first paramour,
(half a dozen years my senior),

whose astrological forecast

accurately predicted promising

acquaintanceship/relationship
potential soul mates

(two score years ago -
gone to naught),

which latter aforementioned humble lass

decried he fomented
incessant emotional grief,

he cruelly (albeit unwittingly)
doled out nothing
but lackluster lovelessness
attributed to identical zodiac signs (Capricorn)

(matter of fact shared same birth date

January 13th - six years age difference)

stubborn misconstrued perception,

whereby fancy free and footloose
selfish nasty short brute nevertheless

deemed himself undeserving of love - humph!

Addeneum: Approximately four decades

re: one quarter century after
aforementioned baptismal initiation
love stricken paroxysm
forty fifth president of United States

took (i.e. plagiarized) many pages courtesy,

cruel playbook authored
by Matthew Scott Harris,

who left trail of heartbroken sage woman

commander in chief deliberately stoked,

née sparked long
simmering smoldering, and stewing
long festering white supremacist altercation

fiendishly igniting racial conflagration

exploding during late spring 2020.

No matter no child left behind kibitzing
(yours truly as boy plucked petals
off daisy reciting "she loves me,"
"she loves me not"...

cupid loosed an arrow
into boyhood neighborhood sweetheart

she innocently bespoke
"I wanna marry you,"

when uttered courtesy Sherry Jones,

a little girl who lived
approximately three doors down
along cul-de-sac within Apple Valley

perpendicular to Lantern Lane,

or more age apropos,

when young gallivanting
purported vestal virgin ladies

nonverbally signalled

libidinal proclamations of emancipation,

as demurely expressed
lest unlucky (chaste into)
precocious phallic proclivity

suffered the punishment
of being buried alive.

Now back to present day,

when our old geezer,
the prototype garden variety

male of present poem -
any resemblance between general referenced
fella and living persons purely coincidental.

He (yours truly) easily qualified as

overly cocky whippersnapper,
i.e. young buck and/or Casanova wannabe
experienced bit torrent
hormonal secretions gushed

particularly in close proximity

wherein wafted pheromones -

think a waif faring ingénue.

As evident and quite obvious,
I fabricate (prevaricating

my signature trademark)

rather than stating bland reality stark,

yet will plainly explain issue

in summary essential rhyme
without reason constitutes
nothing more spectacular than
garden variety generic pockmark

excised pustule ofttimes hallmark
of teenage/ pubescent pimply benchmark.