XIdlepoetX

Yes, Ulysses

In Blindenschrift Ich frage                                                                                                   

In Blindenschrift Ich frage 

 

I asked for forgiveness, moved closer

Like singing winds, kind winds, gentle beach winds

I'm the common denominator and I can't believe my mind

Can't believe I'm on the borderline like I can't believe

The childish devilment and daredevil stunts

 

The chime laws are holding me hostage

It will look like a rainbow when I'm finished

I'm so exhausted, can't write for a year

Went mad like Van Gogh and cut off my ear

For a year I lived like a dreamer, a runner, runner

Couldn't get any slumber and I choked on aphorisms

There was no scintilla of evidence but a newborn phobia

Like a Poindexter, Ghidora-sized in my eyes

Doing the long dance with the spirit of the garden

Under the pale moonlight

 

I froze, could hear the strum of a guitar                                                                                         

It was like a happy skylark chasing the fierce tidal waves                                                     

Calling me to my death like an egghead's fantasia                                                       

Deep in the caves                                                                                                                 

I made my chef-d'oeuvre with my magic powers                                             

Made my way back to sanity without a scratch                                                              

Outshining the garland like a rare diamond                         

Around the neck of a recusant

 

As always, when I look back I get this ache

A certain nostalgia I can't explain

It grows like vines in my bones and then

I feel peripheral, living in a wanton world

I am not of that ilk, more like a mastiff

Lounging on a couch

Idle and set in my ways

Raised voices and police sirens reverberate

Wanting their fifteen minutes of fame

On the red carpet

Like vessels, fossils, and notorious umlauts

In the doggerel and in the chorus

 

I'm in the clouds, hungry and looking for fish

Writing is driving me madder than you'd think

I'm sinking faster than the Titanic

Held in a lunar synthesis

I wish things would go back to normal

I haven't seen the sun shine in all her glory

Since I kissed goodbye to last winter

I'm starting to wonder if it'll ever be the same

Like the nucleus of an atom

A faint glow has captured my attention

I can't be the hero with a shiny motto

I'm going off script, off the grid

I can't handle it

 

My sour thoughts are torturing me

Saying things about sodomy and death

In the wild the blood flows like endless pleasure

I am a lotus-eater, with a cigarette in one hand

And a drink in the other

I'm thinking about my mother, the ocean, the moon

My wasted youth has been reduced to nothing

Like a still life painting in a museum

 

Now I've been taken over by adulthood wanderlust

I hate the tussle, when it's the Hour of the Ox

Sometimes I want to run off and board a train to Paris

And then visit the pyramids in Egypt

I get this sudden itch

I hear the angelic voice of a child

Like a candle I snuffed out

Like a jealous sibling wanting attention

At the mountain top

 

I made a mosaic out of my insecurities

I made a mosaic out of my mistakes

Made a sorry apology

Fell and landed on the Wandering Rocks

With jewels for teeth and stars for eyes

Strange creatures went passing by

Like chips and sirens

 

I called out for my daddy like Telemachus                                                                         

With a heart drowning in solace                                                                                 

Drowning in boundless grief and heartache                                                                         

I ran into my daddy's arms and cried like a baby                                                   

Tied to my memories of Jim and Neil                                                                                 

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel                                                                                 

I wish life wasn't real.

 

 



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