The Ballad of Sir Henry Shay

Sir 'enry Shay, the noble knight,

Bestride his charger Bess,

Befell upon a sadly sight ~

A damsel in distress.

Despairing in the forest she

Morosely wept and sobbed;

Tied tethered to a chestnut tree

As she was being robbed.

Sir 'enry drew his tempered blade

And fought off robbers four.

Swish-swashing, buckling, till he laid

Them hapless on the floor.

"My hero" then my lady cried

"I'll marry you this day!

And be your wife, your faithful bride

To honour and obey".

But when she smiled, her eyes aglow,

He found she had no teeth;

As naught dwelt in the upper row

And not-a-one beneath.

There again her nose was pointed,

A moustache grew within;

M'lady's jowl had been disjointed

About her double chin.

Sir 'enry then bethought his lot

And sparked a canny plan.

Regardful of Sir Lancelot

Who shrewdly cut and ran.

The gallant knight would flee the glen

And beat a fleet retreat;

The better part of valour, then,

Was oh to be discreet.

Sir 'enry deemed he should be gone

Upon his trusty steed.

He coaxed a nudge that spurred her on

And galloped off at speed.

The moral of the story, where

Accordance looms a must,

When e'er you save a damsel fair

Pray leave her bound and trussed.

                                     ASJ