A feint attempt to stab myself... quickly found the missus ready to faint

Like a madman possessed

by mailer daemon lemme acquaint

ye with the following verse, I will bepaint

momentary horror, where yours truly

entered momentary third eye blind rage

loosing violent constraint

nearly thrust knife

into right leg without restraint,

which curtailed prospective martyrdom,

thus scotching, nullifying, denying...

me anointed apostolic saint

plus stripping christened name,

one Matthew Scott,

cuz he threatened to harm himself

invariably with permanent

leg a see did taint

moment of spontaneity

instantaneously vanished without a trace

when irrational brandished

white as a ghostly corpse petrified wife,

who merely felt playfully frisky

I haint kitten,

yours truly reflexively reached

for paring, quartering,
halving deboning, cutting...

said kitchen utensil

nearly sabotaged marriage

finding zee spouse suddenly widowed

(never writing last will and testament,
nor in fact ever drafting first)

as husband almost pitched himself

into wuz bin realm

courtesy short nasty brute

mine generic doppelganger

harkening back to dem good ole days,

when regular altercations occurred

heralding grab regarding lovely bag of bones

birds of prey didst carrion and buzzfeed

scavenging any shred of wedded bliss

which auld lang syne times
well nigh witnessed fisticuff strife,

though these previous half dozen years

considerably less rife and riddled

with expletive strewn epithets

that cut sharper than a dull knife.

Momentary loss of reason

every now and again

finds me skull comfortably numb

just another brick in the wall

reckoning, we don't need no education

acquiring diploma courtesy
hard skool of knocks alumnus

attests he experienced
arduous, horrendous, opprobrious, and venomous

environment pinterest tingly linkedin

with congenital predisposition to anxiety/

panic attacks in toto
enroute visiting Wizard of Ozzy Osbourne.