Eclipse At Twilight

We told each other about our pains

Usual occurrences, reliable sources

It was a verbiage of the same stuff

Back and forth, back and forth

Taking turns talking until the sky got dark

Then I left in the middle of the night

I listened to the heavy rainfall

Enthralled

The millwheel had been greased

In the secret garden passage

I was a paranoid wreck

It was touch-or-go

Around peril like a rose petal

I kicked the topsoil, feeling tender

Like an aching muscle or a sore wound

Breaking free from the cocoon

I was unbalanced

The moon thief came with a diagnosis

I exclaimed it was pigeon gossip

I didn't believe it, at first

I thought, am I in denial, feeding myself lies?

Telling myself I'm fine, when I'm not

I know something's wrong

I can feel it

Something's in my throat

It could be a frog or a Lionheart

Or else it could be a knife or maybe a key

Perchance it's a light to somewhere

I can feel it, irking me

At the most maddest of moments

One minute everything is fine and the next

It's as if my world is coming to an end

I don't mean to be dramatic, but

My fingers are spiders

Needles

I'm bending into shapes I've never been in before

Going to new places I want to explore

I'm still so young but I feel like it's going to end

I can't erase the feeling

When I turn I'll walk into doors

It's been dull like this for months now

The sun doesn't come to the rocky peak

I figured it out, I'm a tormented soul

A Greek tragedy in deafening silence

I refrained from exploding

Fell asleep high in the clouds

Tangled in the cigarette smoke

I had dreams about pretty things

But thought, in all my attempts to study the sombre night

I never did get it quite right

Walking wet streets with a silver sheen

Moony on Mulberry Street

American-themed, provocative images

Like mute potatoes, banished to the shadow realm

I put my night kisses in pockets

I am imprudent

Willow shoots like the messenger

The mastermind with the monkey wrench

Like ribbons or a fancy signature

I couldn't follow the rules

So I dropped out of high school at fifteen

With nothing but pipe dreams and a particular taste

I watched the typical birds on grand trees

Had to grow up fast and find my voice

With a million and one things on my mind

I tripped and fell into a pool of emotions

Familiar with bad timing

This year I will turn twenty two                                                                                             

I haven't really thought it through                                                                                           

I tend to go with the flow, hoping I'm in fine fettle                                                                 

I looked in the mirror, it was me, standing there                                                           

With tired eyes and a tired face                                                                                         

Ready to start the day gingerly                                                                                                   

I can't forgive myself, can't let it go                                                                                               

I can't seem to get a control of things                                                                                         

Or a grip on reality and I'm slipping away                                                                             

Each day I smile like everything is perfect                                                                             

But inside I'm dying with each step I take                                                                         

Twig-like, I break.