The Uneducated O.A.P

Don't Understand Women

All I said was," hey, Woman, There's no pants in me drawer"

Well, you should have heard the language, not heard the like before.

And it was the same the other day

I like to multi task, I have. To say

I was watching telly,and reading paper at the same time

She was mowing the lawn, I'd told her to do straight lines

All I said was," A cuppa tea would be nice"


Dunno what the neighbours thought, She shouted everything, twice

And then, I didn't realise she was so strong

She picked up the mower, and chucked it in the pond!

Walking off, muttering something I had a job to hear

About cups, going up my entrance, rear

And then, the final straw

As I entered the hall

Hanging from the light fitting was the hedge trimmer I bought her for Christmas

"For you" she had written, on an attached note

Did she mean the trimmer, or the rope?

"YOU DOIN TEA!" I shouted, up the stairs

With that, the top of the range iron I had bought her for birthday

Wizzed past my ears, nearly splitting my hairs!

Down she stomped, kicked the door open with her feet

Taking they paint off the radiator, I watched her do last week

"IM OFF TO TALK TO MOTHER!" She shouted, face full of thunder

I reminded her she had past a few years ago


She must be at that funny age



  • dusk arising

    I know how you feel mate, neglect is a terrible burden we males have to suffer. I left my wife cos she had no time for me. When she got home from her day job it was rattle the pans in the kitchen, hours and hours building me a sun lounge then off to her night shift job. So bloody thoughtless.

  • Fay Slimm.

    Ha ha ha - - well the lady had every right to feel like throwing both iron and everything else at your male arrogance.............. great weekend fun-read Bill..........

    • The Uneducated O.A.P

      Thanks Fay, glad you liked it, a chuckle a day keeps the miseries away, hopefully, stay happy, Bill

    • Accidental Poet

      The other day I heard an amusing quote: The three rings of marriage are
      1.The engagement ring
      2.The wedding ring
      3.The suffering
      Orchi will elaborate on this I'm sure. AP.

      • The Uneducated O.A.P

        Thanks for the Fav Bob ( BobnBill, could be a double act, you play the intelligent one and I'll play the stooge!) I think orchi has a secret comment code, I haven't broken it yet! (or maybe I have) keep doing what you do, Bill

        • Accidental Poet

          hahaha, I'm a member of a local car club called the Connecting Rods. We have a cruise night on Friday nights, and afterwards we go out to dinner at a local restaurant. When I started to go out with them, the waitress knew everyone's name except mine. So in club fashion, I decided to mess with her a little. She asked my name on the first time there and I told her Bob. The next week she asked my name again. So I told her Steve. The next week, Bob, and so on it went. She caught on after 3 or 4 weeks. Oh, and the waitress's name? Sharon. Not my Sharon, but it was ironic for me. Thanks for the read and comment.
          Oh and Orchi does have a code, don't be surprised if he asks you what it is. He won't know. LOL.

        • 2 more comments

        • orchidee

          You having fun?! lol.

          • The Uneducated O.A.P

            I try to have fun every day, ducking and diving, literally! Have a great weekend, Bill

            • Accidental Poet

              We were waiting for someone to jump in asking about a code of some kind. AP

            • Goldfinch60

              Good fun write Bill, I do hope you have recovered after your wife read your words or did you end up in the padded cell.


              • The Uneducated O.A.P

                Confined to the man shed with door nailed closed for the duration, still trying to work out where it all went wrong! Thanks Andy.

              • ANGELA & BRIAN

                BRIAN HERE ~ Good Evening Bill ~ very droll. I went to a Boys Secondary School and despite having a Mother & Sister & lots of Female Cousins I thought girls were just nicer versions of Boys until @ 17 I got to know them more individually. I realised they were very different from Boys in the way they thought ~ talked ~ what was important ~ especially the importance of Boy - Girl relationships. I had a range of Female Friends so I never got engaged or got too emotionally involved with individuals. WE had some things in common ~ like Sport (Tennis - Swimming etc) - languages - travel - good food & wine etc but *Girl Talk* was Venusiian & I was from Mars ! Problem was when I met ANGELA (28) three years ago (I was 33) she was different (A Scientist which helped) form other Girls & Spanish ~ which was my passion. So we had lots in common - BUT- She was still a Woman ~ but in some mystical way I felt incomplete (for the first time !) without Her ~ I needed Her ! So we got engaged and married 3 Months ago. I learn new things about her every week - BUT - I will never fully understand Her ~ AMEN !

                Thanks for sharing ~ very graphic & Tongue in Cheek !
                Blessings & Peace & Joy
                Love ~ Brian & Angela

                • The Uneducated O.A.P

                  Thanks for looking in, they certainly are strange and wonderful humans! Have fun with the learning, I'm 72 and still working my way through the understanding women course! Have fun, good luck, Bill

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