Anxiety

trying to escape, tried so many different ways
yet still, minute by minute, day by day
stuck in my anxieties, have thoughts
yet nothing to say

damage has been done that i cant reverse
this anxiety is more than a problem, its a curse
always worried not to upset or say something wrong
always uncomfortable, not one tamed thought
the edge is always near, always on guard
knowing normality is to far

watching the laughter and fun but never truly involved
as soon as i start its like my mind has a wall
all negatives come flooding threw taking my air flow
in and out my anxieties grow
what are they thinking? what do i do?
Am i fitting in? not knowing how to be me, true

some days i think i am changing, getting better
being louder, more thoughts being said. Not so tender
one person, one thing can bring me right back
its like i was seeing then lost the track
like i was running, now i am just in place
i was winning, then slowing down, lost the race
the light at the end of the tunnel was so bright
everything was feeling good, i was feeling right

then the clouds cover me, swallow me inside
there i sit, looking down on what i could be
that rain you feel, tears to all my cries
crying out for someone, something to save me from all these edges
loud in my head yet quiet to the ears of all present